Ya know it's amazing what kind of things you learn about yourself and past relationships that take you years to figure out. For example, I had this girlfriend one time that I loved very much and one day she just flipped out and it was over. I was devastated by this and wondered for a long time that if I had done this or that would it have been different. I was in great agony over this, then I realized recently that it was never me and that she has a history of doing this when things get too serious. Maybe she feels it's better to hurt someone before she gets hurt, who can say and it may be totally subconscious, but it's apparent that the guys she dates now have no future of going anywhere and that may be done on purpose or totally subconscious as a way of protecting herself. Where am I going with this? Only that you never really know what's in the hearts and minds of others even when you think you couldn't know them better, Chances are that they don't even know themselves. So it's pointless to wallow in depression and blame yourself, cause whatever will be will be and if we weren't all crazy we would be put in a rubber room or something :)