-He drinks a lot of petrol.
-He was born in space.
-He never blinks.
-He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.
-He sleeps upside down like a bat.
-His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
-His skin has the texture of dolphins.
-If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
-He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down. (A reference to The Matrix)
-He could annihilate the Daleks, Dr Who and the Cyberman, if he could be bothered.
-He is scared of bells.
-He once punched a horse to the ground.
-His politics are terrifying.
-He lives in a tree.
-He likes DragonBoarder.
-He was raised by wolves.
-He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
-His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.
-His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.
-He is confused by stairs.
-He naturally faces magnetic north.
-He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
-His heart ticks like a watch.
-All his legs are hydraulic.
-His brain is a Satellite navigation system.
-He can "accumbularate".
-He appears on Japanese banknotes.
-There's an airport in Russia named after him.
-He is wanted by the CIA.
-His breath smells of magnesium.
-He can catch fish with his tongue.
-His tears are adhesive.
-If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
-After eating printing ink, he obtains the ability to fly.
-He is terrified of ducks.
-His voice can only be heard by cats.
-He has two sets of knees.
-He can swim seven lengths underwater.
-He has webbed buttocks.
-He can melt concrete on contact.
-He is more machine than man. (A reference to Darth Vader)
-His heart is in upside down.
-His teeth glow in the dark.
-His favourite food is raw meat.
-He has no age.
-He urinates 98 RON petrol.
-He can smell corners.
-He likes his eggs sunny side up.
-He blinks this way. (reference to Men in Black)
-He has acid for blood. (A reference to the Alien).
-Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
-He has a bionic arm.
-He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
-He is stumped by clouds.
-He has no fear.
-His ears aren't exactly where you would expect them to be.
-He once, "preposterously", had an affair with John Prescott. (Referring to Prescott's recent admission that he had had an affair with one of his secretaries)
-He has a digital face.
-If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar. (A reference to the UK version of The Apprentice, featuring the aforementioned head honcho of Amstrad in the Donald Trump role)
-He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the test track.
-His genitals are on upside down.
-If he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.
-(The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly') If he left Britain, his ears would explode. However, they're wrong - because he's here.
-His ears have a paisley lining.
-He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.
-The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring.
-If given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet. (Reference to John Prescott May 2006)
-He invented Branston Pickle.
-If you insult his mother, he will head butt you in the chest. (A reference to Zinedine Zidane being sent off in the finals of the 2006 FIFA World Cup
-On really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake.
-For some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch.
-His fingernails have 330bhp.
-His tongue can strip the paint off a Porsche in 30 seconds.
-His first name really is "The".
-If he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the cameramen.
-He once threw a microwave oven at a tramp.
-Long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist, pig-faced, waste of blood & organs. (Greeted with a lot of applause)
-He once had a viscous knife fight with Anthea Turner
-He eats a lot of cheese.
-His chest tastes like piccalily
-He was thrown out of the Brit Awards for goosing Russel Brand