Let me tell you.. So finally I've started browsing for men because I've given up on that perfect man falling into my lap. Let's just be real, it's never going to happen-- you want it? you search for it.

So I did, and oh man it appears that there are plenty of fish in the hi5 sea, and lots of them are my type and lots of them are astrological matches.. small shock to my system! And then after browsing for a few minutes, it becomes apparent that virtual identities are SO misleading. On this site there are men just in it for sex-- which is fine; honestly I'm cool with that, as long as you're straight up about it. There are men who post pictures of themselves that are obviously fraudulent in an extreme way: I mean all you gotta do is run a google image search for "model," and you'll find the same faces posted as profile pics for a lot of guys on this site. Then you have guys that steal pictures of other guys ON the site, and post them as their own.

Wow. Hi5 is an exceptionally clever concept and a fun tool for meeting folks all over the world, but the lack of moderation on this site has its downside. Sure it means guys can post pictures of their essentials without penalty or shame, and whatever I shouldn't be one to complain, because GGod knows I DO enjoy it haha, but it also means that the element of "hope," of finding something real, is spectacularly thin. I don't think, even if I managed to meet "him" on hi5, I'd be able to trust in anything he posted..

And then you have the randoms; yah the ones that hit your page and message you with a positively infuriating comment or question. Last week, I had someone ask if I was hetero or homo and proceed to inform me that s/he had spent 20 minutes on my page trying to figure it out.

First of all, the world of human sexuality is inherently more complex than the structured nature of the hetero/homo dichotomy might imply. Why can't I just be me? Why do I need to slot myself into one of the categories? Sure, I'm open about my sexuality, I will, without hesitation, declare that I am interested in men.. but even that; why should I have to? Yes, I'm in sync with my desires and I'm aware that I lust for guys, but that's an awareness that has been forced on me; my conceptions of the world, of sexuality, of gender, of my own identity are all socially constructed in a contemporary moment, and I'm so sick and tired of it.

I'm Aseef, aite? (and even then, trying to deconstruct the markers that make me, ridding myself of the baggage that is my NAME; that which essentially ties me down to my subjective experience as I know it, is impossible to achieve). Social systems are not meant to breed individuality, I mean let's not kid ourselves: I'm a S.I.N. number, a Student ID number, I'm AR0072 at one job and E23029 at another, I'm a statistic in a world of over 6 and a half BILLION people, and I'm a virtual identity on three profile pages-- all having a unique html code-- something kind of like DNA; no one else can have mine, so it's my claim to "me!" Technically then, I'm privvy to a material individuality within a larger social system, because no one else can be AR0072 in the same time and space condition-- that is until I quit or am fired (lol), but isn't that humiliating? That's not what I want to be. I don't want to be a number, I don't want to be read and treated on the basis of my gender, on the basis of my sexual practice and choice, I want freedom from social restraint, and that's the project.

I want to at least be able to envision a global community of individuals, because there are loopholes in language that will allow for the dismantling of structured constructs, and there are no boundaries in the realm of human imagination. I want to work towards improving myself in this ambition and to rebel against the conservative status quo.

So the decision has been to slap the hetero population in the face with the markers that portray me as "other".. as Homo in opposition to the norm-- and for me to flaunt it. I mean it's just hilarious watching "straight" men around openly "gay" guys; they get so uncomfortable, and even if they aren't homophobic, they draw very clear boundaries about what is in breech of appropriate contact; they assume that mere tolerance is enough to achieve a liberal satisfaction with their perceived human dignity.

That might have been a bit sterotypical or even exaggerated, but hey, how many people do you know that really treat each other with any amount of respect. People who don't consider markers in facilitating their interactions? I would encourage that you experiment with your social boundaries. I have chosen to politically identify myself as Gay, even though I might not consider myself "Gay" per say. And I have enjoyed the multitude of benefits that come with living in Canada and being a member of what is often perceived as a deviant community; and the freedom is fabulous- it's liberating and inspirational! I am of course allowed to be me, as my community looks the other way, I am free to violate social norms (within reason) and to truly experience horrifying social dynamics.. what you might call social injustice.

See, I'm acquainted, by force, with heteronormative culture, and I'm responsible for understanding it, for living in it, and to establish a relationship to this mainstream rhetoric. And while I deal with heterosexuality slapping me across the face every miniscule moment of my life, my projecting and flaunting of my homosexuality is read as perverse, derrogatory, and unnecessary-- so I challenge the liberals among us, those with an "open-mind" to crush the social curriculum, to violate the standard, and to try to picture a world without hatred and ignorance, a world free of judgement and contradiction, and to pursue a lifestyle of your own choice-- to experience the unexperienced. There really is no such thing as 100% straight or 100% gay.

It shocks me to experience hate within the gay community for bisexual men and women for "swinging" or "sitting on the fence" or for just not picking a side already! You'd think the marginalized among us would appreciate diversity and human difference; and again I urge you not to be merely tolerant, but to embrace humanity and respect the human condition.


I am looking for a relationship, and if you're interested, drop me a line; but you better be sure as hell that you are who you say you are. And just so you know, I'm not perfect, I pass judgement all of the time, I have expectations and I have sexpectations; let's just be honest, I know I'm cute, and I expect you to meet a standard- if I'm not physically attracted, chances are I won't be attracted in the long run; I expect to be able to hold an intellectual conversation-- I'm a graduate from University, you should be too or at least pursuing some form of higher level education; I expect nothing less than honesty- it's everything to me; I want a man that is sensitive and REAL.


I expect the moon, because I'm the sky, so if you got it-- bring it on~!!